The weather has been unseasonably warm in Salt Lake City for the last two weeks. So when a friend of mine went out on the deck to have a smoke, he left the door open by habit. Annoyed by this carelessness, my roommate yelled, “Dude, close the door before you let all the cold in.”

Hearing this, I turned to my roommate and reminded him that, “Actually, that statement is inconsistent with the Zeroth Law of Thermodynamics.” He gave me a look like he had just smelled some sour milk, rolled his eyes, and then retorted, …

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