Grete Eliassen. She’s got all the trappings of an enviable young skier. Scandinavian good looks. Top notch performances competing around the globe. High-class sponsors. The world we have come to love, the snow world, is delivered to her on a platter. But Grete has an interesting dichotomy to her life. I texted with Grete about her life as a sailor, summers at the lake and the Mall of America.

Do you want to start the interview? It’d make me a hit with Matt Harvey…

Will he make out with you? And yes, I’m game.

How’s Minnesota? Been hittin’ up the nightclubs and strip clubs and all the other clubs?

The only club up here is the Gull Lake Yacht Club. But hey, my friend Eric, aka Eric Iberg, is coming up to the lake and we need to get on the boat right now…

What SPF are you rockin’?

55 face and 33 body.

You gotta stay fly…

Who doesn’t like a tan? I’m either in ski clothes or sitting inside studying the rest of the year. So it’s nice to get a little color during the year, but not too much. Today was an amazing day on the boat by the way.

Are you going to move into the wake-boarding scene now? You’d probably make some money in that industry.

No, I’m thinking about going into the sport of sun tanning. I think I could make it big. I tan nicely. Tellafriendbetch.

That has a nice ring to it.

days pass

How did the jazz classes end up? Can we expect some jazz infused chinese song and dances?

Jazz was great! It’s a great diversity credit. My roommates however got a little annoyed with me playing it all the time. And I also got to volunteer at the Jazz Festival for extra credit. Ok gotta go back to the dock. I’m getting pretty bad at this texting thing.

another day

Another day in paradise?

more days pass

Ok I’m ready for more.

No boating today? Not on the high seas?

It’s cloudy out.

I saw your 450 in Yeah Dude. Are you going to start channeling Andreas next winter?

Just channeled Andreas and he spoke to my Grandma to teach me how to make a taco ring. Cloudy days are great for learning life skills while at the lake.

I don’t think I know what a taco ring is, could you elaborate?

A taco ring is a meat filled pastry ring.

Sounds delicious. What’s going on with Trina these days?

Trina is actually coming out with her new album on Sept. 25 called The Baddest Chick Part II… and it’s going down.

Good lookin’ out. I just went to the mall with M.H. Have you been hitting up the Mall of America with your girlfriends lately?

No, my girlfriend, aka Ali, has been sitting inside for 72 hours because she just got ACL surgery. Therefore we haven’t been able to hit the Mall of America for hot guys.

Plus I’m not a great shopper, just ask my sister.

So no New Zealand this year? What are you going to do? And you have a sister?

No, I’m expecting, so I can’t go this year. And yes, I have a sister.

Oh, I heard about that. So, Craig Coker is the dad?

No, no, he’s not.

Newschoolers rumor I guess. Heard you are also quite the sky diver?

I’ve gone once.

How was that?

It was so cool. I’m pretty scared of heights so the plane ride up with the open door really got to me, but the way down was so much fun. I went with my roommate who is certified too.

How’s your golf game? Your teammate Sammy is getting pretty good.

I went to a clinic with [pro golfer] Andia Winslow early this summer and she taught me the ‘Annika Y’ [style of chipping] and after that, I’ve been unstoppable.

You seemed to be unstoppable in the pipe this year, going to kill it again? It’ll be hard with a kid in tow…

Ha! Yes, that’ll be interesting.

You and Tim Russell can share a babysitter maybe…

Sure. Ok, it’s time for an activity.

Ok, have fun.

15 minutes later…

Ok, it got cloudy out.

You can still get a tan I bet. What’s on the agenda?

I’m reading The Great Deluge in the cabin. But I’m thinking about taking the day cruiser because I haven’t sailed it yet.

What’s the weirdest thing that’s happened to you today. Or the best? Or the worst?

Well the worst thing that happened today was the jib broke on my sailboat, so I didn’t get to sail at all. but it looks like a storm is coming in so that could be fun.

Wait, storms are fun?

Thunderstorms and lightning are one of my most favorite things. in Minnesota we have Tornado watches all the time. So you never know when you’re going to have to hide in the storm cellar. Did you know that I’ve been on the cover of a magazine while sailing?

What? No way. We’re going to have to give you a cover then…

Storm is coming in for sure, clouds are green. Maybe a tornado tonight…

I didn’t know Minnesota was in Tornado Alley…

65 mph winds and hail the size of walnuts.

I should probably stop bothering you, in case you have to bail real fast in the event of a tornado.

Still no power. Phone is almost dead.

Well let me know when you make it out alive.