Ah, ski town police blotters are always a treat. According to the Aspen Times, Stephen Elmore, 25, of Snowmass Village, Colorado, pleaded guilty to felony arson on Monday. Back in January, Elmore had passed out on his couch when one of his roommates took the opportunity to draw phallic images—ahem, penises—all over his face with a pen. When the passed out Elmore came to, he discovered the artwork, confronted his roommates and then proceeded to set a fire in their garage as retaliation. Yes, he set fire to his own house. The roommates put the fire out, thankfully. On Monday, Elmore received a verdict of fourth-degree arson and was sentenced to two years’ probation for the incident.
Well, we’ve all been there, right? Your buddy tosses back one too many cold ones and passes out in the corner. Seizing the opportunity to pull mess with them, you grab a Sharpie and do your best Picasso impression all over their face—in my experience, for males, that often involved the aforementioned phallic drawings. Your buddy eventually wakes up, discovers your work and blows up in a fit of rage. Although, I’ve never been involved in this level of fiery retaliation.
The big question here, however, is were Elmore’s shoes still on when he passed out?
Elmore must undergo substance-abuse and mental health evaluations while remaining clean and sober during the entirety of his two-year probation.
Image courtesy of the Pitkin County Sheriff’s Office