Nowadays with text messaging, gone are the times of inconvenient lunch meetings, awkward phone silences and scheduling conflicts. Not really, but this is how kids are communicating these days anyway, so why not jump on the bandwagon? I engaged in a digital examination of TJ Schiller’s inner workings over the course of Memorial Day weekend. Semi-invasive, unavoidable and on-the-spot, I’d get to know TJ, uncovering how a pro skier unwinds after a long and grueling season on the road. What better way to enjoy a sunny holiday weekend than typing away at a two-inch keyboard.



FS: TJ, you are now doing a Freeskier.com interview… all via text message.


TJ: F ya, bro!


FS: How is Memorial Day Weekend treating you?


TJ: What’s Memorial Day, bro? I’m @ my sister’s place in Vancouver, and we be havin’ a fondu party tonight. Can’t quite put my finger on it… but there is something seriously cheesy about this situation.


FS: Fondu sounds good. I didn’t know you were such a classy guy. How is your new house treating you? Buy any rugs or artwork yet? [He recently bought a house in Vernon, BC]


TJ: My house is RAD. My roommate and I have a baller trampoline set up with a wall ride stall in the backyard.


FS: Other than Vernon, where else could you see yourself?


TJ: Vernon is great. Lots of lakes and golf courses and warm weather. I could see myself in Whistler or Squampton [Squamish, BC].


FS: How’s Vancouver?


TJ: Vancouver is an awesome place… just sucks that every time I come here it’s for another passport.


FS: What else are you going to do there?


TJ: What else am I doing in here? I have to go wait in a three block line-up to get a passport. It’s crazy right now. Street people are lining up in the morning and selling their spots for like $60.


FS: $60? I hope it’s in Canadian money or else you might have to get a raise from your sponsors.


TJ: Bro, whatever. Canadian Dollar is the highest it’s been in 30 years… I think I’d rather pay for a spot than wait.


FS: Why wouldn’t a guy, right? When can I expect the TJ Schiller pro model Paul Mitchell shampoo and conditioner? Harvey’s hair has a lot of split ends.


TJ: We’ll have to see next week. Paul Mitchell is bringing their whole team of skateboarders, snowboarders, mountain bikers and myself down to LA for a meeting and photoshoot. Also, Harvey’s hair game is f***ed up.


FS: Sounds like fun. I have to go legitimate for one question: What are your skiing plans for this summer and fall?


TJ: If I can get another passport, I’m going down to Chile for a couple weeks, then ballin’ down to NZ to “hang oot for a beet and skee sum. Kno wut I’m sayin’?� [I am envisioning Ali G’s voice]


30 seconds later…


Let me hit you back… meetin’ with an old friend. Text me @ the fondu party later tonight. Holla.


Hours later…


FS: How is the fondu? I’m in an escalade… top that.


TJ: Does your broke-back Escalade have Turbonegro bumping and strawberries with chocolate fondu? Say sumthin’!


FS: You got me there. Chocolate covered strawberries sound better than my dinner plans. I’m going to Olive Garden, ever been?


TJ: Uh huh. I get chicken Alfredo.


FS: What are your plans for later? Gentleman’s club? Rave? Midnight drag racing?


TJ: Naw… probably hang oot over here and hit on my sister’s friends and go to sleep… sounds like she’s going to have a party.


FS: Speaking of partying, I heard you used to text those Laguna beach girls. Any plans to visit them in SoCal?


TJ: Naw, never got in touch. Was just there… think Dumont may have ‘em coming to his 21st.


FS: Did you know that Schiller is of German descent? Land of pretzels…


TJ: Land of wiener schneitz, bro! Frederick Von Schiller was some famous professor-writer dude. When I was in Munich, I was on Schiller Strausse and saw his statue.


FS: Since you’re famous, what kind of whips [shoes] are you whippin’ right now?


TJ: What kind of whips am I murkin’?? shiiiiiiit… all kinds.


FS: We just played [credit card] roulette and someone lost a lot of money. Your thoughts?


TJ: Bad choice. I don’t like playing, especially @ Sushi Village [in Whistler].


FS: Not my card. I’ve been hearing a lot about Voleurz?


TJ: For sure we gotta talk about Voleurz.


FS: It is getting late, isn’t it? Let’s resume tomorrow.


TJ: Sounds good, bru.


Five minutes later…


FS: It’s 11:11, make a wish.


TJ: I wish that Canada would give me another passport.


One day later…


FS: Do you know any funny jokes?


TJ: How about a yo momma joke… Yo momma’s so poor she hangs the toilet paper out to dry.


FS: I like it. As a big-timer, who travels all year, what’s the best thing about flying first class?


TJ: Well first off, it’s the ballinest way to fly. And the restrooms have better soap. But, I’m busy dressing up for Pirates of the Caribbean… arr har har matie. Hit me back later…


FS: Sounds great. Enjoy Pirates.


Yet another day later…


FS: What’s your quintessential pirate accessory?


TJ: Bandeezies, bru. Lots of ‘em.


Again, one day later…


FS: Happy Memorial Day. Have any good advice for me? I’ll give you $20 if it’s good.


TJ: Memorial Day, eh… How about you shotgun a Kokanee, tear the bark off a tree and cook some pre-soaked salmon — then give ‘er.


FS: That sounds really useful. How is Voleurz? I heard they are making moves?


TJ: Voleurz [based in BC] is a group of friends that all grew up together doing crazy stuff. We’ve got gnar skiers, skaters, bikers, snowboarders and surfers — all doing what they do best and representing a lifestyle through the company. It’s seriously ballin’. We just made new toques [canadian hats] and they are soooo sick.


FS: Any plans for them to invade the US?


TJ: Voleurz, at this moment, is internet based sales and bro hook-ups. Be sure to see people reppin’ it shortly.


FS: Peter Olenick says you have really good style, how do you pull it off in the industry?


TJ: By skiing with Peter, of course!


FS: Speaking of Peter, seen any good chick flicks lately?


TJ: Nope, can’t say that I have…


FS: Good. It’s probably time I stop intruding your life so much…


TJ: Naw… I think it’s dope. Gives me something to do on this thing.


FS: I appreciate your honesty. What’s a guy like you do on a Monday night?


TJ: Just finished sessioning the canoe down the river. Back @ my friend’s place. BBQ’n up some good ol’ Albertan beef.


FS: Canoes? BBQ? Sounds like the good life his summer, eh?


TJ: Shay, bro… Have a wonderful night. There are actually chicks in Whistler right now. It’s crazy, yo.


FS: I like Whistler girls… are you headed up there?


FS: TJ?