Liftie Roscoe’s Random Thoughts of the Day

Liftie Roscoe’s Random Thoughts of the Day

As the bullwheel turns, so do my very odd thoughts…

Do those puffy, reflective ski outfits make people look like burritos or baked potatoes?

Wearing flip-flops and ski boots on the same day in December is a bad idea, but in April it’s the best idea. 

Why haven’t they created a skier-specific dating app called “The Singles Line?” 

Getting up early to skin doesn’t make you a good person; getting up early to skin and posting about it on Instagram makes you a good person. 

Weather, traffic and parking: most discussed topics by both skiers and parents from the Midwest. 

Kick turns are a great way to understand the emotional roller coaster experienced by a wobbly newborn giraffe. 

The line between “living the dream” and homelessness is the Mississippi River; no one in Chicago thinks living out of your truck is rad. 

Dating in a mountain town is much like trying to pick someone up at your family reunion; it’s possible but it can get messy in a hurry. 

If you have a pretty smile and a goggle tan, I will be scrolling through your Instagram photos at 3 a.m. and picturing our life together. 

If I skied in it, can I wear it on a date?

Bluegrass needs more drums and jam bands need less… everything.

Don’t let anyone tell you what the right or wrong way to ski is… unless you are currently taking a ski lesson.

I wish my job security was as strong as whatever the hell metal they use to make rental poles.

Instead of free, crumbly Nature Valley bars, resorts should hand out ibuprofen. These knees are getting old. 

Peppermint cocoa is just a pumpkin spice latte that skis.

The one thing that connects all skiers is the symphony of emotions that explode in our hearts when our two planks meet cold powder snow. But, if there is a second thing, it’s 50-cent hot wings and half-price nachos. 

This story originally appeared in FREESKIER Volume 25, Issue 02.
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