One skier’s testament to the greatest food of all time
As skiers, we tend to experience the finer things in life quite often—watercolor sunrises from the summits of our favorite peaks; the velvety feel of untouched powder whooshing by in the middle of our 69th face shot of the day; the inseparable, family-esque bond of the community that skiing offers. But there’s more to life…
No, I’m not talking about college degrees, marriage(s) and mortgages. I’m talking about burritos. One might even venture to say—hint, I’m venturing there right now—that burritos are the tortillas themselves that hold our world together as skiers.
Think about it. As a skier, is there any better food than a burrito? Short answer: No, nothing beats a burrito and nothing ever will. Long answer: arguably Veuve Clicquot champagne and some shrimp cocktail in Aspen, if it’s on Bryce Kellogg’s tab. But that’s beyond the point.
Need a quick, good-to-eat-on-the-move breakfast that just so happens to have all your essential nutrients, including some extra helpful fats to soak up your hangover from the night before? Look no further than a scrumptious chorizo breakfast burrito. How about a calorie-dense snack on the summit before you lay down a first descent you’ve been eyeing-up since the snow started falling? Voilà! A simple yet delectable beans, rice, cheese and veggie burrito will be ready to celebrate with you on top. Or maybe you’re looking for a mid-skin track pick-me-up? Well, stop eating that boring old grocery store granola bar, because a classic, al pastor burrito, loaded with chunks of sweet, sweet pineapple, is just what you’ve been craving.
Pro Tip: Double down on the hot sauce if your descent has a rappel. Extra-Super-Pro-Bro Tip: Pour out all that useless water from your wide-mouthed, vacuum-insulated water bottle and use it to keep your burrito warm. You’ll thank me later.
But what should you do once the daylight fades, the lifts stop spinning and you want to celebrate a great day on snow with your favorite humans? Where should you head? The bar? Well, duh; but only if they have burritos. Saying “cheers” with a round of beers may be fun, but it’s played out. What would be more memorable is cheers-ing with a round of burritos in hand—ideally the daily special from your most auténtico local joint. Bonus points if you ordered that good ol’ ‘rrito in Spanish to practice for your pilgrimage to Argentina or Chile next summer.
No matter the time of day or the type of burrito, your experience is guaranteed to be transcendental. With each crinkle of the foil, like a Golden Ticket to Willy Wonka’s factory, the anticipation builds. You can feel the warmth in your hands as you grasp it ever-so-gently. Then, there are the smells. As you peel away the foil, you’re gifted a bouquet of scents, your first glimpse into a one-way portal to the next dimension of existence. With each bite, your burrito’s cornucopia of flavor will transport you to whatever your utopia may be: a bottomless day in Japan, a hammock in the Solomon Islands or your back porch on a rainy day. Be careful though, once you’ve finished that last bite full of bonus salsa and veggie juices, that whimsical weightlessness in your heart that feels like your first kiss—well, it just might be exactly that: Love. That, or acid reflux.
From personal experience, I’d encourage you to bring (or sneak, depending on the circumstance) burritos into as many activities as you can. You know that the seventh inning of the ballgame will be that much better as you begin tearing away the foil around the tortilla-wrapped insanity you’re about to bite into. Or you can become the life of the party instantaneously by whipping out a piping-hot burrito just as the lights dim during a sold out ski movie premiere. Most of all, enjoying a burrito while you’re on the chairlift is a life-altering experience every skier should have; there’s just something about carne asada that pairs really well with a mid-winter breeze…
Now, I won’t pretend to be some ultra-righteous missionary knocking door-to-door to convert you to a burrito-heavy diet. But I’m damn close to that and my friends at FREESKIER keep egging me on, so what I’ll tell you is this: My skiing—my life, really—is better off with burritos.
It’s hard for me to convey, but burritos are arguably a healthier addiction than skiing itself. Skiing lends itself to seasonal withdrawals. Burritos, however, are meant to be enjoyed, and easy to savor, year-round. They’re not contingent on the calendar, a plane ticket to Santiago, your work obligations or Mike Nelson’s crystal ball on Denver’s Channel 7 weather. As a good friend once told me, “The early worm gets the burrito.”
Are you with me? Let’s fill up these tortillas with an abundance of flavor, give ‘em a proper roll and collectively stand up for what’s right in this world—reminder: that’s burritos. Now, hold ‘em up high and proud toward the sky. If you see me in the liftline, on the skin track, or wherever else, be sure to give me a nod, I’ll have some hot sauce waiting for you in my pocket.
Disclaimer from the author: Cody Townsend—not sure if you’ve heard of him, he’s better known as a skier than a burrito-er—warned me that his own previously burrito-centric diet may have contributed to his need to refrain from gluten nowadays. It’s your choice whether or not to keep this in mind when creating your personal burrito regimen. If you ever end up quitting burritos cold turkey, just know that the miserable, sweaty withdrawals will not be worth your while.
