Year in and year out, FREESKIER takes pride in producing the best damn ski magazines in the world. And by following this link right now, you can get an entire year’s worth of ’em for just $5.

But, sometimes, people don’t subscribe and that makes us very, very angry. So this year, we’re cutting the bullshit and taking action.

If you don’t subscribe right now, these 10 things will happen:

1. Khaleesi’s dragons will find you.

2. Pokemon will take over the world.

3. Keeping Up With the Kardashians will continue to air

4. Video game Chuck Norris will steal your home.

5. This dude will swing you around by your legs.

6. Justin Bieber will continue to make music

7. This poodle will boycott back hand springs.

8. This cat will boycott twerking.

9. This lady will boycott dabbing.

10. You will be out of the loop on all-things-skiing, and nobody wants that.