A Whole Lotta BS is intern Brian Schroy’s weekly column. Check back weekly for the grittiest gossip the industry has to offer, as seen through the eyes of Brian.

Barely legal Bobby Brown celebrated his 18th birthday this past Friday. He had a splendid time with his friends and family, but he was missing that special someone. Bobby is tall, handsome, and very athletic. His abilities on and off the hill make him one of the fiercest competitors in the industry. If you think you have what it takes to keep up with this teenage heartthrob, here is some advice from the man himself.

Photo: Shay Williams

Freeskier: Before we can continue, are you single?

Bobby: Why yes I am.

Freeskier: Can you give the ladies three words to describe Bobby Brown?

Bobby: Ferocious, lovable, and… “craveable”

Freeskier: What is your biggest turn off?

Bobby: Cigarettes and when chicks say ” What up MAN?”

Freeskier: Describe your ideal date?

Bobby: I go to pick up the female and I arrive a little late. I get her heart pumping, thinking I’m not going to show up. Then I take her out to a nice dinner, and open the door to the time of her life.

Photo: Dave Amirault

Freeskier: Who is your biggest celebrity crush?

Bobby: Miley Cyrus or Taylor Swift. Super hard choice between the two but I would probably go with Taylor Swift. You know Bobby Brown don’t go with them younger women.

Freeskier: Do looks matter? Be honest here…

Bobby: Yes, not gonna lie here. It does, but you know, I’m not against meeting a lady friend even if she’s not a 10, maybe even a 9.

Freeskier: Do you find girls that can keep up on the slopes intimidating?

Bobby: No as long as she doesn’t kill it too hard…

Photo: Shay Williams

Freeskier: What characteristics do you look for in a woman?

Bobby: A rockin’ bod, great smile, easy to talk to and funny.

Freeskier: Do you think I have a chance?

Bobby: Always and forever, but I need to take it up with T Swift.