Olympic freeskiing events will be taking place in Sochi on February 11, 13, 18 and 20 and the idea of being there to experience the debut is quite alluring. To do that, you’d likely take a pricey 12-day Russian vacay. We ran some numbers to give you an idea of what it would cost to stand at the bottom of the pipe vs. sit on top of your couch for the big show.
Hit the Road:
Flight: You don’t go on vacation much, so treat yourself to a cushy seat up front. $8,573
Hotel: Egyptian cotton isn’t cheap but neither are you and anything less than 800 thread count is uncivilized. $5,676
Transportation: Gotta get your ass from the airport to the resort, near Krasnaya Polyana. $94
Event tickets (four events): Not only do you have to get there, then they charge you for tickets. The nerve! $453
Libations: We figure you’ll average 3.3 liters of beer per day, and a half-liter of vodka will compliment those nicely. $381
Bribes: According to a study by independent Russian research centers, the average bribe costs $178. We guess you’ll shell out about three of them. $534
Food: A generous amount of fast food offset by some beef stroganov and a little pelmeni. $663
Souvenirs: Ushanka (funny looking) fur hat, something with the Olympic rings and maybe a Vladimir Putin bobblehead. $150
Total: $16,524
Watch from Home:
Dranks: We’ll say a sixer of beer for each of the four events and the makings of your favorite one of Hank’s Dranks (we recommend the Mule). $61
Basic internet/cable package: They sell it monthly so start out your month with some trashy cable TV, watch all the skiing, a little bit of curling and then switch over to the Food Network. $35
Hot wings and pizza: To further separate yourself from these Olympic-caliber athletes, order the greasiest, most delicious delivery around. $69
Total: $165
Conclusion:
Stick Around: Sitting on your couch costs approximately one percent of what it would cost to go to the Olympics and you’ll probably get a better view.
