Get your buzz on with Hank’s Dranks: Sochi Spirits

Comments by Henrik Lampert/

hankdsdranks

With the Olympics bearing down, it’s only right that you pay tribute via a variety of themed cocktails. This here vodka-fueled selection is sure to get the party going while you watch the 4 a.m. live webcast of the women’s slopestyle finals. Nazdarovya!

1. The Olympic Cocktail
Yes, it’s a real cocktail. It originated in London in the year 1922, though, likely in honor of the famed ocean liner, not the Games. You’ll need fresh squeezed juice of a half naval orange, 2 oz aged cognac, 1 oz Grand Marnier, a dash of Peychaud’s bitters and a strip of orange peel to garnish with. Begin with ice and water in a cocktail glass, pour OJ, cognac, Grand Marnier and bitters over ice in a cocktail shaker, shake and strain into glass, garnish, consume, shout “Go USA!” at your television screen, cross fingers and hope the American medal count rises.

2. Moscow Mule
Simple and refreshing: fresh lime wedge, 2 oz vodka, 4 to 6 oz ginger beer. Squeeze and drop lime into a copper mug (copper is mandatory: the chemical reactions taking place between alcohol, copper and your mouth are what make this drink flippin’ sweet). Add a few ice cubes, then vodka, then ginger beer. No animals needed. Oh, by the way, the copper mugs ain’t cheap.

3. White Russian
Collect 2 oz vodka, 1 oz coffee liqueur and light cream. First, add ice cubes to your glass. Pour vodka and coffee liqueur over the cubes. Then, top off with the light cream and shake or stir. Caution, consumption of this drink may induce love of bowling. Additionally, beware of potential for strangers to urinate on one or more of your prized rugs, dude.

4. Smooth Black Russian
Pour 1 shot of vodka into a glass, and add 1 shot of Kahlua. Next, add a bit of coke to taste, then stir. Top off with Guinness stout, and consume. It’s smooth, it’s black, and it’s probably not Russian.

5. Flaming Black Russian
Using 1/2 oz vodka, 1/2 oz Bailey’s, 1/2 oz Kahlua and a splash of Bacardi 151, you can whip up the Flaming Black Russian. Pour Kahlua into the glass first, then Bailey’s, then vodka, and lastly the 151. Go ahead and light that bitch on fire. Then, tilt your head back, and down the hatch she goes. Game: Try to hold a big, cheesy smile for 20 seconds after consuming.

Related: Complete event and television schedule for the 2014 Winter Olympics