MM: Well, after that pipe event, we rallied the troops, dressed in our finest Canadian gear, and went and sent ‘er out on the town, and holy guacamole, we got a little bit crazy. We were in the village, chilling at one of the bars for a bit, and before we were even getting into it too hard, I’d already had my sleeves ripped off my Noah [Bowman] and Bone [Justin Dorey], it was going to be one of those nights…
We went for eight days straight. Me and Noah sent it solid, really drank in the Olympics, experienced it, had a good time. We went to this place called the Audi House every night, I don’t know how we came across it, but somebody was telling us it was open bar, live music, we were like, “Yeah, we should probably check that out.” So, we roll up, they let us in, we go upstairs, and it’s this nice lounge, and all this awesome food, and I go to the bar, everything was free, so I ordered as much as I could carry and asked for a tray of shots to be brought to our table, and it was like, classy, nice lounge, and we just started pile driving.
Next thing I hear, I hear some sax. I thought it was from the speakers at first, but I walk to the front of this place and there is a dude shredding live sax, and I’m five feet away, losing my mind because there’s nothing better than live sax.
Then a girl started singing, and we were requesting songs. And we started dancing, and nobody else was dancing at all, but eventually, people started joining and it turned into a full-on mosh pit, and then we sang “We Are The Champions” when Canada won a hockey game. It was glorious.
Credit: @nateabbott
JS: Not bad.
HL: The only club I went to in Sochi was Sky Club.
MM: That place I can’t talk too much about.
HL: Bullshit.
MM: Fine. It was insane. It was a three level place. There’s a bar smack in the center of the, like, giant dance floor, and then there was a show going on, on stage, the entire night with like 15 of the hottest Russian females you’ve ever seen in your life. It was kind of like a Burlesque show. Lingerie galore. They would just bounce around and dance the entire time.
We’d sit up on the second level where they had bottle service, and the balcony went around the perimeter of the whole bar and we’d look down at the dancers and watch people party. On the third floor… what do you call that? A brothel? Strip club? Place where you get private dances? We definitely went up there and spent a little bit of time, you know, just to cool down. When things got out of control, it was a good place to go and unwind, and just chat with a couple of ladies.
We’d party until 6:00 or 8:00 in the morning, wake up at noon, or 4:00, whatever, we’d take a bus down to the “coastal cluster,” enjoy some free McDonalds, go to the Canada house, turn it up to 40 and do it all over again.
HL: Did you watch any events down there?
MM: I went and watched Canada vs. USA in hockey, and that was pretty damn good.
JS: You don’t even like hockey.
MM: I’m pretty good at NHL 2011 on Xbox, though.
HL: Speaking of X’s and video games, what’re your thoughts on X Games dishing medals for video gaming?
JS: Yeah, that’s really stupid.
MM: I love the X Games, but that’s dumb.
HL: Yeah, we posted a poll on the site about it. Seems to be the general consensus. Cody Townsend was pretty outspoken, among others. Todd Richards had some pretty epic tweets, too.
MM: Have you seen Cody Townsend’s signature?
HL: What?
MM: It’s a dick.
HL: What?
MM: Yeah, his “C” is the balls, and the “ody” is a bit of the shaft, and the “Townsend” turns into the tip. It’s the greatest thing I’ve ever seen. The “d” is the very tip.
HL: I need to get a signed poster for my office, then. Marg, I still have your signed Freeskier cover hanging in my office.
MM: Yeah I have three covers now, no big deal. Let’s talk more about partying.
HL: Who do you think the top Canadian partier is right now? Is Pettit losing the crown?
MM: ABM [Alex Beaulieu-Marchand] partied for two weeks straight at the Olympics. Every night, no nights off.
HL: Yeah, I saw him at Sky a few times.
MM: Yeah, he was on fire. Every time we saw him we’d rip a portion of his clothes off. And he had nothing left at the end. He didn’t bring his own clothes he was just using whatever Canada apparel we got when we got there, so when he flew home, poor guy had to travel in all ripped stuff. He killed it. So fun to be around.
HL: What about this summer? Whistler is never a bad time.
MM: I am on the wagon this summer.
JS: Don’t you mean off the wagon?
MM: Whatever. Yeah, I’m not drinking.
JS: It’s going to be on for me. I’m actually head coach of COC this year. So that means a bit more responsibility for me this year, but I think I’ll find a nice balance.
HL: Head coach is boss status.
JS: Yeah, I’m stoked. I’m going to try and bring in some new coaches. Spice things up a bit. Should be good.
HL: I’ve got to try and get up there.
JS: Yes.
HL: Want to talk more about skiing?
MM: Fuck no. Hank, what was your experience at WSI?
HL: Best time ever, as always. But I sucked at traveling. Missed all of my flights and forgot a million things all over the place.
JS: Marg, you may be moving to Whis’ for next year, yeah?
MM: Yes, I’d like to make the big move from the Big Smoke up to Whis’. I’d like to try and do a full season, and try to ski a bunch more, more than just pipe, because skiing only pipe for three years has been a bit draining, there’s so many other aspects of the sport that I love. I’m so fired up to ski park, film in the BC, and all of that.
JS: You getting a truck and a sled, then?
MM: Yes, I’ve been looking. Stoked to hang out with all you psychos. Joe, any ladies in your life?
JS: You know, there’s been a couple, but nothing worth introducing to my mom or anything.
MM: I heard there was one.
JS: Oh, really?
MM: Yeah.
JS: Well, there’s been more than one.
MM: Yeah, but one you’d introduce to mom.
JS: Nope, definitely not. That’s a lie. But you know, I’m sure I’ll find one out there eventually.
MM: Plenty of fish in the sea they call Whistler. Plenty of touques and tall Ts.
JS: Oof. That is such a nasty look.
MM: Let’s rip on our friends a bit more. Like Teej [Schiller], or Bone [Dorey], or [Josh] Bibby.
HL: Yes. We’ve been talking for more than 45 minutes now, boys. Hurry it up because I don’t want to transcribe this thing, at all.
MM: Can you just post the audio so I can listen? I can’t read.
HL: I’ll have to cut out all of the X-rated stuff from this conversation. That’d be worse than transcribing.
MM: One thing I learned about TJ the other day: you know how he always claims food and fitness? Well he’s a great cook, so he’s covered on the first part, but the fitness aspect, where that comes into play, we haven’t been able to figure that out. Aside from skiing, what type of fitness he’s actually into, you know? But I figured it out. The fitness he does, it stands for drinking. The food and fitness goes hand in hand, and I noticed this the other night while he was eating a bit of food and doing a bit of fitness at the same time.
HL: So fitness is just a code word?
MM: Yeah, it’s a code for having one. Or two. I spent some time with Ian Kenneth Cosco the other day and he’s doing great, too. Flying planes, living the dream. Living the single life right now ‘cause his lady is out of town, so he was letting loose and actually hangin’ with his friends again. He’s got a new friend, Pat, that Joe is really jealous about.
JS: No, that was Mike you idiot.
MM: No, but there’s a new one, Pat.
JS: I know Pat, I was hanging with Pat, he’s cool.
MM: Yeah, sure buddy.
JS: Marg, let’s hit some other topics real’ quick, we’re just rambling.
MM: Let’s hit some urban.
HL: What else is Cosco up to?
MM: He’s working on Chug Life 15.
HL: No he’s not.
MM: You’re right. He’s still the man, but he’s just full on being a pilot.
HL: Let’s wrap this shit up. I’m really dreading the transcribing. Final thoughts?
JS: Yes. If anyone wants to sponsor me, I’m down and I’ll be really positive for you.
MM: Everyone keep reppin’ those socks and sandals.
HL: Cool. Love you guys.
MM: Love.
JS: Love.
Comments are closed.